Good afternoon. We hope it’s okay to call you by your first name. Since you seem to know so much about us bears, we feel like we should be on a first-name basis. Additionally, your success in the Congressional Hearing has set up such a great wailing and gnashing of teeth among educators across this country that none of us can get any hibernating done. It’s winter, you know. We’re trying to sleep over here.
We’ve also heard there’s a little bit of a media frenzy circulating around us since you had your confirmation hearing. All this stardom is new to us. Most people never pay too much attention to grizzly bears unless we meet them on a trail, we’re getting in their trash, or they’re hoisting their picnic baskets in the air while they’re camping so we can’t steal their food. Now, principals like Gerry Brooks are threatening to throw Grizzly Glitter on us. We kind of like the idea of his Bear Bait, though. It looks pretty tasty.
The owner of this blog we’ve hijacked has even created some teaching products surrounding us. In her last post about us, she made something about grizzly bear safety that you can get on her Teachers Pay Teachers site. Quite frankly, we were a little offended. To appease us and entice us to tell our black bear cousins to lay off her fat beagle, she made a nice fact product about us. That made us happy. Then she bundled them together because she’s all motivated. At least we look friendly in the pictures she chose.
Aside from Worrell, the press we’re getting isn’t particularly positive. Educator types seem highly amused by the way you called us out for trespassing on school grounds in Wyoming. Look, we like teachers. They put our pictures up all over their classrooms. They don’t seem to mind us hanging around from a distance, if we ever had a mind to. Believe us, we don’t unless we get confused. You don’t taste good to us, and you smell horrible. Unless it’s honey-bun day in your school cafeteria. Then all bets are off.
But isn’t it just like you political types to place blame on others when you don’t know what to say. Instead of owning your beliefs about guns in schools, you called out our Wyoming cousins and the schools in their habitat. Those facilities are why we love teachers. They built a wall to keep us out. On the rare occasion that we go into a school, it’s because we’re lost, hungry, or we need a girl- or boyfriend. If we make it into a school by accident, though, we don’t often make it out alive. Efforts to tranquilize us don’t always work. We’re all for the walls, not the guns. Your President is all about walls. Learn from his agenda, and we’ll leave you alone.
It seems that, from everything we bears are hearing, that you have a lot to learn about public education. Even dumb animals understand that you need to know your stuff before you face a Congressional Hearing. Laws and educational mandates are kind of important. Most urgently, you need to learn about public school educators themselves. Like us, they know their range. They are involved in their communities. They also love their kids. We get that. We’ll fight to the death for our cubs. We know, too, that you’d better not get between teachers and their students. We bears will run away when you spray bear pepper spray on us. Not teachers. When it comes to what’s best for kids, they’ll defend that territory with ferocity that even scares us.
So good luck, we guess. Hopefully you’ll make your peace with the educational community. Listen to what they have to say. Teachers know best about how to help children. They have the biggest hearts in the world. Remember, educators aren’t the type of folks you want to irritate. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to get back to napping, right after we pick this glitter out of our ears.
The Grizzly Bears