The Mysterious and Magnificent Relationship Between Mothers and Daughters

Mothers and Daughters. Mothers and Sons.

Yes, I know–there’s nothing quite like the love between a mother and son—I wrote about that relationship here. Some of the gender specific characteristics that I’d always considered stereotypes have proven true with both the males and females in our familyMothers and Daughters. What can we learn about ourselves from our relationships with our daughters?.

Enter little girls. Relationships between mothers and daughters can be tumultuous, multi-faceted, beautiful, hilarious, and mind-boggling all at the same time. Many say boys are simpler, and I agree that they are more straightforward. They may flush your jewelry down the toilet and fart like it’s an Olympic sport, but you always know where you stand with them.

A Complex Relationship

Girls are way more nebulous. Sometimes they want frills and ruffles. Other days they want to kick their soccer balls into next week. Today it’s pink with bling—tomorrow, camouflage.

When I look into my daughter’s eyes, I’m essentially looking into my own at nine years old. If we moms haven’t made peace with ourselves, our daughters will throw our shadow sides up in our faces until we do.

Our daughters challenge us. They force us to open up our old wounds and examine them closely. If we had body issues as young girls, our daughters’ own feelings about their bodies will force us to face up and deal with our old concerns. If we’ve been too good and accommodating all our lives, we may resent the spunk and arguments we get from our little firecrackers. Until one day, when we realize we’re secretly envious of that spirit and choose to talk back in our own lives. Sometimes our girls pour salt in those hurting spots; other times, our daughters’ love serves as a healing salve.

Mothers and Daughters: Washed CleanThe relationships between mothers and daughters are powerful. Our daughters force us to face our shadows and accept them or let them go.

The happy tears I’ve cried while raising girls have been so good for my heart. I’ve never stood backstage at a ballet recital without crying. After the unbearable pain of two miscarriages, gratitude lifts me to tears every time I watch our littlest girl spin on stage. Every tap of her toes is confirmation that even the most humble and imperfect among us live entitled to enormous miracles.

When our oldest daughter was in third grade, she wanted to run for SCA president, but she battled painful shyness. We practiced her speech with her, encouraged her, and pushed when necessary. Walking up to that podium and facing the entire school may have been the bravest thing she had done up to that point in her life. I cried when she nailed her speech. She didn’t win the office, but she triumphed over fear.

Ultimately, our little girls have to journey through this world on their own, just like their mothers have. For a time, we get to travel with them. We get to hold their hands, dry their tears, celebrate, and yell encouragement from the sidelines. As we cry backstage while we watch our daughters shine, though, our tears will wash away our own travel wounds and set us back on our feet as we walk our own chosen paths.

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Here are some poetry books about relationships between parents and children. These activities will complement these novels if you check them out with your students. If you look into these Sharon Creech books yourself, then these task cards will make you think!
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If your students don’t need these reference activities, you might as you navigate complex your shadow side through your relationships with your kids.

16 thoughts on “The Mysterious and Magnificent Relationship Between Mothers and Daughters

    • May 16, 2017 at 11:11 am
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      I know exactly what you mean. Mothers get much smarter the older we get don’t they? ? Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
  • May 15, 2017 at 8:30 pm
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    Every relationship between mother and child is so unique. But i believe mother and daughters share a secret code, in the end they are both women.

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    • May 16, 2017 at 11:13 am
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      True! Sometimes neither one can figure out the code! Ha! Have a great day!

      Reply
  • May 15, 2017 at 11:41 pm
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    My own relationship with my mother is complex and beautiful that I look forward to one day raising a little girl if I get the chance. Thank you for your thoughts!

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    • May 16, 2017 at 11:15 am
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      Little girls are amazing, and the relationship is unlike any other. Thank you for commenting!

      Reply
  • May 16, 2017 at 12:25 am
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    The bond between mother and daughter is beautiful but you are right in saying that their personalities and desires can change on a day by day basis x

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    • May 16, 2017 at 11:16 am
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      Little girls can be like the wind with all their different ideas and emerging personalities. They are deep and complex, that’s for sure! Thanks for visiting!

      Reply
    • May 16, 2017 at 11:16 am
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      Yes they can! Have a great day!

      Reply
  • May 16, 2017 at 2:09 am
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    I am so close with my mom and sister. And I’m raising three boys! Very different relationships, for sure, but each one special and unique. #bloggingboost #bloggingbooster

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    • May 16, 2017 at 11:17 am
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      Thanks so much for stopping by! Three boys would be a rollicking good time! Little guys are precious!

      Reply
  • May 16, 2017 at 6:11 pm
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    The bond between a mother and daughter is magical, I know with me and my mother. Great post.

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    • May 25, 2017 at 11:22 am
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      Thanks so much! So great that you and your mom are close!

      Reply
  • May 17, 2017 at 11:30 am
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    I love my mom to bits and relationships between families are just so amazing. Since I moved out I always make sure to phone my mom every now and then & I love a weekend back home. It’s amazing what being away can do and show you how much your mom actually has done for you.
    Lea, xx

    Reply
    • May 25, 2017 at 11:20 am
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      It’s so great that you and your mom are close. We moms get smarter after our daughters grow up:) I know my mom got smarter!! HA! I learned a lot, fast!

      Reply

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